Love me when I'm gone
by Senkensha
Summary: A/U sort of story. Not set in any time period. Vegeta has to deal with the loss of Bulma, helpless to fight what kills her. Written to 3 Doors Down- when I'm gone.


There's another world inside of me  
  
That you may never see  
  
There's secrets in this life  
  
That I can't hide  
  
Somewhere in this darkness  
  
There's a light that I can't find  
  
Maybe it's too far away...  
  
Maybe I'm just blind... Snow blankets the ground; it falls in gentle flakes to the already covered ground, landing gently and silently, as if afraid of disturbing the tranquil surroundings. The only sounds one hears is the faint wind brushing against the bare tree branches, caressing their naked arms, arms that seemed to reach for the heavens and beg for all the injustices of the world to be vanquished.  
  
A man stands over a newly marked grave, his prominent features easy to discern in the falling whiteness, his expression as bleak as the surroundings he graces his presence with. Seemingly oblivious to the cold, the whispering wind, the trees silent please for justice. Oblivious to everything but the emptiness he drowns in. Maybe I'm just blind... Soft murmurs of apology reach his ears, yet he doesn't hear them. Soft touches to his shoulders, gentle squeezes of sympathy, yet he doesn't feel them. He's drowning, slowly and surely drowning in the ocean of an empty soul, his head barely above the black and bitter waters.  
  
The pats, the sad whispers stop, the soft voices cease to try and penetrate his darkness. He can only stare at the grave marker and wonder why; wonder why she had to leave him alone. Why did she have to leave him when he needed her the most?  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything you need  
  
I'll also be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could  
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
You won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone Slowly he goes to his knees, the proud man, fallen by her grave. No ones there to witness his fall. His soft cries of grief, no one there now to comfort him or pull him out of that mad darkness that slowly consumes him. The proud man slowly reaches out to caress the rose petals that decorate the headstone. The name carved seems unreal to him. As if someone has played a perfect joke on him. Except, no one came back to laugh and poke him in the ribs, no blue haired woman popped out of the ground to point and laugh at his expression. Love me when I'm gone... BULMA BRIEFS 730-767 Beloved mother-wife-forever missed. When your education x-ray  
  
Can not see under my skin  
  
I won't tell you a damn thing  
  
That I could not tell my friends  
  
Roaming through this darkness  
  
I'm alive but I'm alone  
  
Part of me is fighting this  
  
But part of me is gone Such simple words don't convey the emotions. It barely describes the person lying in the ground, they day they began to live and the day they- The doctors had said it was cancer. The proud prince had no idea what cancer was until Bulma had come home one evening from a routine checkup. A mammogram had revealed a dark mass in her left breast. They had of course done an immediate biopsy. The results had been her worst nightmare, a malignant tumor that had free reign of her body. Suddenly the world that surrounded Vegeta became a living clock. The walls constantly ticked, seconds passing more and more rapidly as time passed. The treatments, the chemotherapy, herbal treatments, operations to remove tumor after tumor became just another cog in the wheel of time, one more cog, and time passed more quickly. People he rarely cared to see suddenly became a permanent fixture in their home. Offering help, sitting up with her the nights Vegeta was too exhausted, or frustrated to deal with the situation. Bulma took it in all valiantly, positive that she'd beat this. That she'd find a cure and would become the first person to cure the disease that ate more and more of her body each day.the disease that slowly ate away at Vegeta's soul as he watched her fade away.  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything you need  
  
I'll also be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could  
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
You won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone And time marched on, the beat constantly ticking in Vegeta's mind, whispering in a maddeningly soft and smooth voice; "Death's-near, death's- near" tick-tock, tick-tock. He stayed up with her night after night, talking to her, telling her of the worlds he'd seen. Things he'd never told anyone before; unaccustomed to opening his soul to someone, he soon discovered it was easier than he'd thought and damned himself for not doing it sooner. It was too late, everything then seemed too late. Even after she'd lost the ability to speak, move or even eat on her own, when nurses came in and adjusted the morphine, the drugs that kept her clinging to the so called thing called life; he talked. Told her all he'd never knew he'd kept inside for so long. He never knew if she listened or not, if she could hear him in her half pained, half drugged filled existence. But she heard. She was comforted by the voice, by the hand that held hers, the times he held her in his arms as she cried in pain, rocking her gently, by the presence of someone so powerful, standing vigil over a lost cause. He was her champion, her chosen and he would walk her through into the darkness. She took solace in that fact, that he'd not walk away, that he'd hold her until she was gone. Maybe I'm just blind... So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am  
  
And everything you need  
  
I'll also be the one  
  
You wanted me to be  
  
I'll never let you down  
  
Even if I could  
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
  
You won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone And one day she was. It didn't seem to Vegeta that it was a day to die. It was far too perfect, a day that would invoke hope in the heart of the young, and bring a smile of find memories to the elderly. The sun shone in its brilliant life giving light chasing away the snow that had in Vegeta's mind only darkened the world that much more, a gentle breeze rustled the dry leaves off the branches outside the window.  
  
Death had always seemed so simple to the prince, and again death proved him correct. He had just shut the door to her room, having chased the company away, and had turned to her bed when he noticed her stirring ever so gently. Moving to her side, he'd thought she'd want her pillows moved for better comfort, or perhaps she needed an I.V adjusted. Slowly she made an effort to sit up, her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling above her, the bleak, tiled ceiling. Vegeta moved in behind her to hold her up, his powerful arms easily supporting her whisper frail frame. He leaned her against his body, her head falling back onto his shoulder, resting. He watched her mouth move silently as if trying to speak; leaning closer to her mouth he felt her faint breath on his cheek and ear, it stirring the fine hairs above his ear. He strained to hear what she was trying to say. "Hold me Vegeta, until I'm gone" He held her; he remembers how he held her as her body grew limp beneath his touch her already faint ki faded into nothing. He held her long into the day and nearly into the night. He didn't weep for her, somewhere behind the panic as he realized he was truly alone, he was comforted by the knowledge that she was free. He spoke to her as he laid her back into the bed, the bed they had shared, made love in so many nights, had fought over, and had held and comforted each other in.  
  
Love me when I'm gone... Love me when I'm gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
When I'm Gone  
  
Vegeta stood slowly, paying no mind to the dirt and snow that soaked into his black pants, slowly bending he kissed the top of the headstone, straightening up he turned and walked into the thickening snow. 


End file.
